The Jerks of Academe
By ERIC SCHWITZGEBEL
This morning you probably didn’t look in the mirror and ask, “Am I a jerk?” And if you did, I wouldn’t believe your answer. Jerks usually don’t know that they are jerks. Jerks mostly travel in disguise, even from themselves.
But the rising tide (or is it just the increasing visibility?) of scandal, grisly politics, bureaucratic obstructionism, and toxic advising in academe reveals the urgent need of a good wildlife guide by which to identify the varieties of academic jerk. So consider what follows a public service of sorts. I offer it in sad remembrance of the countless careers maimed or slain by the beasts profiled below. I hope you will forgive me if on this occasion I use “he” as a gender-neutral pronoun.
This morning you probably didn’t look in the mirror and ask, “Am I a jerk?” And if you did, I wouldn’t believe your answer. Jerks usually don’t know that they are jerks. Jerks mostly travel in disguise, even from themselves.
But the rising tide (or is it just the increasing visibility?) of scandal, grisly politics, bureaucratic obstructionism, and toxic advising in academe reveals the urgent need of a good wildlife guide by which to identify the varieties of academic jerk. So consider what follows a public service of sorts. I offer it in sad remembrance of the countless careers maimed or slain by the beasts profiled below. I hope you will forgive me if on this occasion I use “he” as a gender-neutral pronoun.
The Big Shot
The Big Shot is the
most easily identified of all academic jerks. You can spot him a mile away. His
plumage is so grand! (Or so he thinks.) His publications so widely cited! (At
least by the right people.) His editorial-board memberships so dignified! (Not that
anyone else noticed.) You will never fully appreciate the Big Shot’s genius,
but if you cite him copiously and always defer to his judgment, he’ll think you
have above-average intelligence.
The Creepy Hugger
To those unfamiliar
with his ways, the Creepy Hugger appears the opposite of the Big Shot. He will
seem kind, modest, and charming, despite his impressive accomplishments. This
is his alluring disguise. You will flee to him for comfort and protection after
abuse by the other types of academic jerk. The Creepy Hugger with lecherous
motivations is one variety, but not the only one, nor the most common. More
frequently you’ll encounter the type who takes advantage of his power to
extract favors and “friendship” that you would not otherwise give. His arm is
around your shoulder while he complains about his colleagues.
He invites you
for beers that you feel obliged to consume in feigned bonhomie. You
meet his family and are expected to be sweet and sociable. Because you are so
nice, and because he seems so enamored of you, you proofread his drafts and
help organize his office. Soon, he will be distracted by someone better and
forget you exist — unless he can gain advantage by presenting you as his
protégé.... read more:
https://www.chronicle.com/interactives/20200131-the-jerks-of-academe?key=mi0Bff1vaLHL09_no2Emg51OFvtVqPfFN3SSFezW-t7BamlExgviBNR0VWARcAxaRk5QUTFjaVZ5Z2dxVmtBNUljT2RGTzBXZUhyN0syVkRUZTBPOTRxbFRERQ