The bottom line: Wiggling buttocks enliven existential hell of Brexit debate

The people finally got to have their say on the government’s Brexitdeal. In parliament, no less. And what they had to say was that they wanted to take almost all their kit off and protest against climate change instead. Time management. They probably reckoned there was more chance of the world’s politicians agreeing on plans to save the planet than anyone coming up with a Brexit solution that the government was prepared to implement.

The protest began three-quarters of an hour into the latest iteration of the indicative vote process, aka IV2, with 12 men and women in the public gallery stripping down to their pants to reveal climate change slogans on bodies that were far from beach-ready. Well, almost all of them. One bloke either lost his bottle or suddenly realised he had come out dressed commando and chose to keep his trousers on. Spoilsport.

Most rushed to the front and glued their hands to the glass barrier, while a woman, daubed in grey body paint and wearing a pair of elephant ears and trunk, indulged in some unusual interpretive dance. The police were called but didn’t seem entirely sure where to look. Or touch. So what followed was a very awkward, very British standoff. In its way, the perfect Brexit statement.

The dirty dozen would occasionally self-consciously wiggle their bums and then stop, as if waiting for something to happen. Knowing how to end a protest is always much harder than starting one. The police initially appeared to just hope the men and women would get bored and wander off, but once they realised they were going to have to get hands-on, a few officers reluctantly rolled up their sleeves....

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