The best jokes from young people around the world

By Dilip -

German (from Hans Mund, 30)

Treffen sich zwei Planeten, sagt der eine zum anderen: "Na wie geht's?"
Sagt der andere: "Nicht so gut, ich hab Homo Sapiens."
Darauf antwortet der erste: "Ja das kenn ich, mach dir nichts draus, das geht vorbei."
Two planets meet. The first asks: "So, how are you?"
The second answers: "Well, I'm sick, I've got Homo Sapiens."
The first replies: "Oh, I know that one. No worries, it'll pass."

Japanese (from NJ Hussain, 27)

パンダの餌は何 ? パンだ! / Panda no esa wa nani? Pan da!
What do pandas eat?
Bread!

Brazilian Portuguese (from Giulia Costa, 23)

Conhece a piada do não nem eu?
Não.
Nem eu.
Do you know the joke of "no me neither"?
No.
Me neither.

Norwegian (from Ole Goethe, 36)

Det var to hvaler som satt på en bar. Og så sa den ene: "Mmmwaamm!"
Den andre hvalen ser på den og bare sier: "Fy faen, du er drita full."
Two whales are sitting at a bar. One of them suddenly says: "Mmmwaamm!"
The second whale looks over and and says: "Holy shit, you're fucking drunk."

Danish (by comedian Sofie Hagen, 25)

I England har jeg lært et nyt udtryk: Dellejæger. Som tyk person synes jeg, at det er mega-underligt. Prø'li'hør, der er aldrig som sådan behov for en jagt. Jeg løber ikke.
Here in England, I learned a new word: chubbychaser. As a fat person, I find that hilarious. Look, there's never a need for a chase. I don't run.

Swedish (by comedian Evelyn Mok, 26)

Jag har fått en stalker. Han är överallt, hela tiden. Och hans "grej" är att han skickar andra människor för att förklara sin kärlek för mig. Så jag kan gå en promenad och helt plötsligt så dyker det upp en kvinna som skriker: "JESUS ÄLSKAR DIG."
I've recently got a stalker. He's everywhere all the time. And his thing is that he sends other people to profess his love for me. So I can be walking down the street and all of a sudden a lady will appear screaming: "JESUS LOVES YOU."

Finnish (from Antton Roennholm, 32)

Minkä liikennemerkin kohdalla Suomessa saa tehdä moottoritiellä U-käännöksen?
Lähestytte Venäjän rajaa.
Which traffic sign allows you to make a U-turn on a highway in Finland?
You are approaching the Russian border.

Hungarian (from Andras Szirko, 30)

Ki az: korán reggel kel, fehér köpenye van, kenyeret süt, de nem pék?
De, pék.
What do you call a man who wakes up early in the morning, wears a white apron, bakes bread, but is not a baker?
No, it is a baker!

Dutch (by comedian Rayen Panday, 30)

Ik woon nog thuis, mijn voorouders komen uit India, die zijn gehaald naar suriname en mijn ouders zijn verhuisd van Suriname naar Amsterdam. Daar ben ik geboren en ik heb niet echt een binding met Suriname of India, maar ik moet je zeggen. Ik vind het wel een beetje raar thuis met die twee buitenlanders.
I still live at home. My great-grandparents are from India, they moved to Surinam, and my parents moved from Surinam to Amsterdam. And I'm born and raised in Amsterdam, but I don't really have a connection with Surinam and India, I feel Dutch. But I gotta say, it's a little strange living at home with those two immigrants... read more:

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