Is all this too much to ask?

By Dilip -
"Look, I'm not some stupid librandu who is out of touch with reality. My demands are reasonable. All I want is for 200 million Muslims to leave the country because Aurangzeb. I want 30 million Christians to leave India because Lagaan. I want 23 million Sikhs to leave India because Navjot Sidhu. I want to stop cows from getting slaughtered in India so that they can be exported and slaughtered in Vietnam. I want anyone transporting cattle or eating beef to be lynched by mobs...except in the North-East because we need votes there. 

I want India to become a vegetarian country even though 70% of Indians are non-vegetarian. I want Hindi to be the national language even though 60% of Indians don't speak it. I don't want men and women to interact in public or private. I want homosexuals to stay away from same sex and become heterosexual...and when they become heterosexual I want them to stay away from the opposite sex because both straight sex and zigzag sex are against Indian culture.

God resigns over situation in Middle East / Saudi Arabia Decides to Ban Everything
APPRAISAL Of British Officers / extracts from ACRs

I want women to make me rotis and not leave home after 7 pm. I want Hindu women to not wear jeans or skirts or t-shirts or anything that shows skin. I don't want Muslim women wearing burqas or hijabs because it oppresses them. Reservation should be scrapped because recently I saw a Dalit driving an Audi. Tribals should hand over their land to corporations but if anyone looks at my property then I'll set buses on fire. Farmers should stop killing themselves because it depresses me. I don't want my taxes used for subsidised education because they should be used for giant statues.
I don't want freedom for the press because then they say things that I don't want to hear. I want to rewrite history to make my idols come out on top. If anyone wants peace then they should leave the country because soldier soldier meethi baatein bol kar, dil ko chura le gaya. I want 200 feet flags everywhere because patriotism is only real when it is shoved down your throat. I want national anthem to be played before Kyaa Kool Hain Hum 3 and Tamboo Mein Bamboo. No one should question government because that is anti-national...when I was questioning government before 2014 it was different. Mandir wahin banayenge. Gau-mutra subko pilayenge. Peacock is already national bird, Cow should be national animal and Abhijeet should be national fish. All I want is for India to be become a Hindu Rashtra by 2023 because sabka saath, mera vikas. Is all this too much to ask?"
https://www.facebook.com/humansofhindutva/posts/look-im-not-some-stupid-librandu-who-is-out-of-touch-with-reality-my-demands-are/232252050612998/
ADAM GOPNIK: Satire Lives
THUS SPAKE KISHORE KUMAR
ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2013 EUROPE From JOHN CLEESE
History of the middle finger // Importance of the horse’s ass
What ho! Celebrating 100 years of Bertie, Jeeves and Blandings
GEORGE MONBIOT - The Search For Intelligent Life On Earth
Mrinal Pande - Parody lost: A (Groucho) Marxist solution for detained comedian Kiku Sharda's problems




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