Tuesday, October 18, 2016

APPRAISAL Of British Officers / extracts from ACRs

APPRAISAL Of British Officers

1. His men would follow him anywhere - but only out of curiosity.
2. This Officer can be likened to a small puppy - he runs around excitedly, leaving little messes for other people to clean up.
3. This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, more of a definitely won't-be.
4. When she opens her mouth it seems only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
5. Couldn't organise 50% leave in a 2-man submarine.
6. He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.
7. He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
8. Technically sound but socially impossible.
9. The occasional flashes of adequacy are marred by an attitude of apathy and indifference.
10. When he joined my ship this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.
11. This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope, always spinning around at a frantic pace but not really going anywhere.
12. Since my last report he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
13. She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
14. He has the wisdom of youth and the energy of old age.
15. This Officer should go far and the sooner he starts the better.
16. In my opinion this pilot should not be authorised to fly below 250 feet.
17. The only ship I would recommend for this man is citizenship.
18. Couldn't organise a woodpecker's picnic in Sherwood Forest.
19. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
20. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
21. Gates are down, the lights are flashing but the train isn't coming.
22. He has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
23. If he was any more stupid he'd have to be watered twice a week.
24. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
25. If you stand close enough to him you can hear the ocean.
26. A room temperature IQ.
27. Got a full 6-pack but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
28. A gross ignoramus, 143 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
29. He has a photographic memory but has the lens cover glued on.
30. He has been working with glue too long.
31. When his IQ reaches 50 he should sell.
32. If two people are talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.
33. Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
34. He's so dense light bends around him.
35. If brains were taxed he'd get a rebate.
36. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
37. Takes him 1(1/2) hours to watch 60 minutes.
38. He has delusions of adequacy.

And here are some more extracts from army ACRs:
-  This officer has an excellent expression, he can express one sentence in two paragraphs.
-   His fiancee wants to marry an officer & a gentleman, she may have to commit bigamy.
-  This officer respects age only when it is bottled.
-  He makes the best use of his sahayak & is fond of wearing new OGs.

On a bad report of a 2IC by the CO the Bde Cdr wrote, "I do not agree with the CO, this is a case of clash of personalities"

The GOC wrote, "I do not agree with the Bde Cdr, this cannot be a case of clash of personalities because neither has any!"